My first post: My Dear Husband who is in severe stages of Alzheimer's

I am a female,  I am a care partner.  My focus today, as of everyday, to make sure my husband's needs are being met.   It has been one year now since my husband made his transition from mild to severe Alzheimer's.  It has been a year now that I have been on a roller coaster, holding on for dear life.  My husband's whole demeanor changed from knowing how to fix things around the house, watching television, reading a book every night to transforming into a man who just sits in a chair and looks out the window.  He told me a few months ago, he had forgotten our past.  We seldom communicate nowadays.

In a few weeks, we will be celebrating our 34th wedding anniversary, and  lived together for 2 1/2 years prior to marriage. 

My husband is 79 years of age, I am 56 years of age.  We share Alzheimer's together.  Sam first showed signs of Alzheimer's in 2004, diagnosed in 2007 and diagnosed in  Feb 2011 as moderate Alzheimer's and September diagnosed as severe Alzheimer's.

Last January, I visited my Doctor and shared with her my dear husband's journey with this disease and it was at this time, I was no longer  was able to sleep due to the stress that I encountered due to the sudden changes my husband was experiencing.  I was losing my husband not by bits and pieces now but by chunks and I had no idea what to do, what to think, how to reach out..

This past year has seen many changes in our life and I have felt twisted like a pretzel, and my well for living had diminished, I did not see no future but witnessing my husband's progression with this awful disease that is  taking away his ability to think, to care for himself, to remember, and I am the one who is trying to cope.  I have to re-create my life. 

My future is  my fear, knowing my husband's condition is only worsening.and my title went from being his wife to being his care partner.   I am still in shock, still trying to figure this out. 

I know when one's future is bleak, it brings depression and sadness in one's life.  I believe people need to think about the future, it brings us hope, cheer, something to look forward to. 

I will relate my last year, to recapture the events that have led me to this place I am in now..